I am so excited for you that you have found out who you are, what you want, what you need and what you offer your couples. Your services exceed the dreams and wishes of all the couples you have a relationship with.  The commitment you make to a couple to make their dream wedding a reality is original, and uniquely created and expressed in a way that make memories and their vows last a lifetime.  I will never let you forget this...

So here is what I want to say to you whether you are a bride, or a wife, or a mother, or a person trying to define your career:

1.  Whether you are an apple or a pomegranate; Be who you are. 

I think we start seeing glimpses of our true selves at a very young age.  Often, it is these glimpses that the adults in our lives either love or hate about us.  Whichever. Go with that.  My teachers used to tell my mother that I was "so quiet...and preferred to sit by myself."  Yeah, I was an Introvert! 

I also wrote some pretty good poems while staring out the window.  Today... I get paid to write pretty good poems and stare out the window.  I also used to be really attracted to witchcraft spells and alternative religions.  My mom really flipped about this one.  And today; what do I do?  Get paid to write wedding ceremonies for couples with alternative points of view. 

So again, I say: "Know you you are and be that."

2.  If you are about to be get married; don't make promises you know you can't keep.

"I don't have to say the word 'Obey' do I?"  This is the obvious one.  But think beyond this.  What are you really promising your partner on wedding day?  Say that.  Mean that.  And do that.

3.  If you are already married, and you are trying to meet your "_________" idea of the perfect husband/wife... Cut it out.

Who's idea of the "perfect partner" are you using?  Hopefully it is your own idea that is made up of positive messages and influences that you have received from people who are important to you - past or present.  Hopefully this idea has been positively influenced by your spouse.  But - and let me just throw in the stereotypical example here - Your mother-in-law does NOT rule what kind of spouse you should be. Period.

3.  Are you a Mom?  Go back to Tip #2.

Every child has an image of an ideal Mom. (And Dad.)  You won't live up to this standard.  It is not possible.  Let it go.  Be a good Mom.  If you feel you are not living up to your own good standards; change something.  But expect your kids to tell you you're not a good Mom until they are about 24 years old.  Only you can really judge if there is truth to what they are telling you.  I'm just figuring this one out.  Let me save you the years of trouble...

4.  Finally, are you in a career change?

Most of us answering 'Yes' to this question have been forced into this situation.  But please, please, please don't tell me how bad the economy is and go on about it.  Yes, it's true. But consider that it is also true that there is no one out there who is really your competition.  Find that aspect of yourself that no one else can ever duplicate.  Then go tell everybody you know about that part of you.  Note that this is NOT the same part of you that tends to answer those "Where do you see yourself in three years?" questions when you are sitting across from an interviewer.  Do you think that interviewer doesn't know a coached answer from a real live passionate one?  Trust me.

Be Well,

~Rev. Sherry Mullins
Certified Wedding Minister
Professional Counselor

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