Do You Ever Wonder if Your Kids Will Turn Out Alright?
It's Mother's Day. My daughter, Cori, was born the day before Mother's Day, May 11, 1991. The following morning, the nurse wheeled her bassinet into my hospital room. There was a pink sign with a yellow sun on it that read "Happy Mother's Day!" And, indeed it was. A couple of days later, I was sitting with her in the rocking chair in her new nursery at home. I remember so clearly thinking: "Now what do I do?"
Well, my daughter turns 19 in two days. There were countless times since that first day she came home that I asked myself that same question: "Now what?..." But we must have done something right.
Cori is living on her own (and so far hasn't been arrested!!) After supporting her for a year, I am now teaching her to pay some of her own bills. Last week, we met and she said: "Okay, I have $200 to pay bills today." So she is learning the value of paying for your needs before paying for your wants.
She just completed 32 credit hours at OCC and is transferring to OU in the fall. She called me today and was very upset that she only has a B+ GPA, and she was asking if OU would still accept her. When she learned that not only would they accept her, but that her grades had earned her a scholarship, she didn't feel so bad.
Cori also got herself a puppy for her birthday. Before getting the puppy, she found out the costs for vaccinations and a spay, as well as other expenses for bringing home a new dog. I didn't even have to ask. By the time she called me to tell me her plans, she had thought it all through. She has had the puppy for a week now. Yesterday she called, asking for advice, when she realized that it can be hard to be totally responsible for another living being, even though it happens to be "cute and cuddly". She said she was tired and all she wanted to do was rest, so she put puppy on the bed where she can keep an eye on her. Now you and I both know what happened next. Puppy peed on the bed. So much for rest... I assured her that puppy was only doing what puppies can be expected to do... and that it would not last forever... and that she was "a good Mom".. and hang in there. (And okay, I was silently thinking Thank God it's only a puppy! If you have a daughter who is a young adult, I know you were thinking the same thing.)
So this Mother's Day, I'm realize: "She turned out alright." Not only is she a good kid, she is really a human being to be proud of, by anyone's standards. Now so you don't think she was just a privileged kid from the start, I can say "No, that is not the case" and leave it at that. Some days we wondered if either of us would come out alive.
So whether your kids are two, or twenty-two, or fourty-two; stand by them. When they get it wrong, gently tell them so. When they get it right, really tell them so. And when you know that they need to figure it out themselves, tell them nothing and let them figure it out themselves... so you don't have to come back later with the proverbial "I told you so..."
So, Happy Mother's Day. Be proud of the moments you get it right. Be gentle with the moments you get it wrong. I will all be worth while. I told you so...
And did you know that the Birmingham Mother's Center meets in our chapel, and that their focus is on supporting mothers of kids who are in college or who are heading off to college? If you want more information, call me.
In the Meantime Be Well, Rev. Sherry
