Celebrating Holidays and Traditions Once You are Married
Passover is upon us and I am reminded how participating in traditions we have been a part of over the years holds a special place in our hearts. I also am reminded how complicated celebrating holidays can be when we start combining our lives together as one.
So many families today are blending so many traditions. So many brides and grooms today come from different cultural backgrounds. Or they have different religious observations. So many families today have children from prior marriages. How do the kids find time to go with Dad (or Mom) to have dinner with their family and not miss out on what is going on for you too?
Most couples, in the beginning years, try to do all of it. And it has been my experience that they end up enjoying very little of any of it. Too much pressure, too many obligations, too many dinners to juggle...and what if everybody wants to come to YOUR house??? The very remembrance of it all is making my heart pound.
So what is the answer?
How do you "honor" but not "offend"? How do you be inclusive, but not come unglued in the process? It seems to come down to this. You must create your own traditions. All traditions have to start somewhere. Sit down with your spouse and decide what elements of your traditions you both really love. Which ones do not hold such meaning for you today? What are your kids used to that they wouldn't want to give up? What about other family members? Get a clearer picture.
Melodie Beattie also says to celebrate what she calls "Holy Days," not just "Holidays". What she means by this is that we all hold things sacred that have special meaning just for us. Perhaps it is a birthday, a date of someone's passing, a significant anniversary of any event. These are all Holy Days. Decide which days, for you, are Holy.
Once you do this; you can better determine what traditions you really want to keep, what traditions you are ready to release, and what traditions you want to begin just for you. Be creative. I once had a fried who used to make a big deal out of Flag Day...
So if you are one who will be celebrating Passover tonight; enjoy your family and your Seder, and the tradition that honors "This night that is different from all other nights."
Be Well,
Rev. Sherry