It's Mother's Day. My daughter, Cori, was born the day before Mother's Day, May 11, 1991. The following morning, the nurse wheeled her bassinet into my hospital room. There was a pink sign with a yellow sun on it that read "Happy Mother's Day!" And, indeed it was. A couple of days later, I was sitting with her in the rocking chair in her new nursery at home. I remember so clearly thinking: "Now what do I do?"
Well, my daughter turns 19 in two days. There were countless times since that first day she came home that I asked myself that same question: "Now what?..." But we must have done something right.
Cori is living on her own (and so far hasn't been arrested!!) After supporting her for a year, I am now teaching her to pay some of her own bills. Last week, we met and she said: "Okay, I have $200 to pay bills today." So she is learning the value of paying for your needs before paying for your wants.
She just completed 32 credit hours at OCC and is transferring to OU in the fall. She called me today and was very upset that she only has a B+ GPA, and she was asking if OU would still accept her. When she learned that not only would they accept her, but that her grades had earned her a scholarship, she didn't feel so bad.
Cori also got herself a puppy for her birthday. Before getting the puppy, she found out the costs for vaccinations and a spay, as well as other expenses for bringing home a new dog. I didn't even have to ask. By the time she called me to tell me her plans, she had thought it all through. She has had the puppy for a week now. Yesterday she called, asking for advice, when she realized that it can be hard to be totally responsible for another living being, even though it happens to be "cute and cuddly". She said she was tired and all she wanted to do was rest, so she put puppy on the bed where she can keep an eye on her. Now you and I both know what happened next. Puppy peed on the bed. So much for rest... I assured her that puppy was only doing what puppies can be expected to do... and that it would not last forever... and that she was "a good Mom".. and hang in there. (And okay, I was silently thinking Thank God it's only a puppy! If you have a daughter who is a young adult, I know you were thinking the same thing.)
So this Mother's Day, I'm realize: "She turned out alright." Not only is she a good kid, she is really a human being to be proud of, by anyone's standards. Now so you don't think she was just a privileged kid from the start, I can say "No, that is not the case" and leave it at that. Some days we wondered if either of us would come out alive.
So whether your kids are two, or twenty-two, or fourty-two; stand by them. When they get it wrong, gently tell them so. When they get it right, really tell them so. And when you know that they need to figure it out themselves, tell them nothing and let them figure it out themselves... so you don't have to come back later with the proverbial "I told you so..."
So, Happy Mother's Day. Be proud of the moments you get it right. Be gentle with the moments you get it wrong. I will all be worth while. I told you so...
And did you know that the Birmingham Mother's Center meets in our chapel, and that their focus is on supporting mothers of kids who are in college or who are heading off to college? If you want more information, call me.
In the Meantime Be Well, Rev. Sherry
So this morning at 9AM my Assistant, Colleen showed up. I had just gotten out of the shower, was cleaning my husbands bathroom sink, the business phone was ringing, and I was trying to ask Colleen to grab a table from the garage before she got in and took her coat off. Then she couldn't find the table, and I couldn't find the table...so I had to call my handyman to ask him where he put it. (Found it!)
Prior to this; I had edited photos for the website, arranged two meetings with brides, cleaned out the leftovers in the fridge, read an article on kitchen updates, and rearranged my email folders. My Mom is saying: "Sherry, you didn't used to get out of bed until 10!
Women's lives seem to go this way. Anne Morrow Lindbergh wrote in 1955:
For life today in America is based on the premise of ever-widening circles of contact and communication...that involves myriad demands...My mind reels with it. What a circus act we women perform every day of our lives. It puts the trapeze artist to shame. Look at us. We run a tight rope daily...still under control.
That was written 55 years ago. Look at us today!
So I wish to share with you a little saintly advice...
Prayer to Our Lady of Deadlines
Hear me in my urgent plea that I may survive the ravages of extreme deadlines. Banish all thoughts of procrastination from my mind, and give me the strength to endure endless hours of time pressure without all the ill-effects of stress. Release me from the power of the clock tick, tick, ticking away. And with the most fervent desire of my soul I ask that I make it through this deadline without tearing out all my hair or losing my mind once again.
(I found this on a candle from Every Day Icons in Shoreline, WA from 2000)
So, give yourself time each day to do the tasks which need to get done...work, family, wedding planning, and all else. Give yourself time too to rest when you need so you can recharge.
As for me? At noon I am going to take my daughter out for a cup of coffee, and this evening we are having dinner with family. What doesn't get done will still be there the greet me tomorrow morning. All is well.
Rev. Sherry
As part of our continued growth and ongoing desire to be supportive to our couples; both before the wedding and as your marriage unfolds, we have invited a few friends and colleagues to receive our free blog updates by email.
You will get a good idea of the variety of topics we will share if you look at the Posts by Category headings located in the lower right-hand section of our main blog page. For now, you will just see titles there. In the coming days, I will be re-sorting our current posts so you can easily find these in the categries that may be of interest to you. Upcoming blog entries will also fall into these categories.
Feel free to share our blog entries by email or social networking if you wish to share something with a friend. As always, we are not trying to sell anything to you, so of course you may un-subscribe at any time. But stay with us for a bit and see what you may find; whether you are planning your wedding, newly married, or have an interest in relationships and couples.
Be Well,
Rev. Sherry
What gives you joy? We can all find the joy in a wedding celebration. But what about every day? Do you notice?
The other day, I promised to tell you about the little old lady with blue hair... So here it is. I went to the salon to get my hair done and across from me, there was a little old lady with blue hair who was getting a little old lady hair style. I was watching her in her mirror, so I could see both what the stylist was doing and I could see the look on the little old lady's face.
After a while, I glanced back just as the stylist was wrapping up. I am so glad that I did. She looked beautiful! And she knew she looked beautiful. She was raving to the stylist about what a good job she had done with her hair. Then she proceeded to tell the gal sitting next to her about herself....How she was born in 1923, and how things have changed over the years. She told her about her family, and her late husband.
I wanted to cry. I realized that being in the presence of little old ladies with blue hair gives me joy. The ones with a little spunk REALLY give me joy. I don't know if it's because they remind me of my favorite grandmother. I don't know if I just hope to be a little old lady with spunk myself some day. But just looking at her, and hearing her story made me happy anf grateful.
What brings you joy? Take time to notice... As author Melodie Beattie says: "Choose Joy. Then cherish and savor it.
Be Well,
Rev. Sherry