Okay, I have a confession. I have been married for a year, and I still have not completed that whole name change thing. So, in an attempt to make it easier for you, I am including two links below. The first link is from The Nest, and it provides a guideline for both women and men who are making legal name changes after the wedding.
The second link is from our own Joyful Celebration! site. It also contains guidelines. It also contains a link to the MissNowMrs online service that will help you in knowing what documents you need to complete in the first place, how many copies of your Marriage Certificate you will need to order, and you can complete all of your paperwork right within the site.
Grab the promotional code off of this page, and click through to their site using our link, and save $5.
Be Well,
Rev. Sherry
Changing Your Name Checklist
A Joyful Celebration's Changing Your Name Guide
Have you asked us yet how you can get your Joyful Celebration! Wedding Officiant Services for FREE? (Yes, there IS a catch...but it's a good one! And yes, you can share this with friends and family....)
Contact us to schedule your Wedding Interview to get the details.
Be Well, Rev. Sherry
If you are applying for a marriage license in Wayne County, Michigan, be aware of changes in their hours of operation. The offices will now be open later on Thursday nights, but will be CLOSED Fridays. You will no longer be able to apply for, or pick up marriage licenses on Fridays. Please keep this in mind when planning for your license. This is especially true for out-of-state couples who are marrying in Wayne County. Please make your travel arrangements to accommodate picking up your license earlier in the week.
For more information, contact A Joyful Celebration!Or the Wayne County Clerk's Office.
Be Well, Rev. Sherry
It's Mother's Day. My daughter, Cori, was born the day before Mother's Day, May 11, 1991. The following morning, the nurse wheeled her bassinet into my hospital room. There was a pink sign with a yellow sun on it that read "Happy Mother's Day!" And, indeed it was. A couple of days later, I was sitting with her in the rocking chair in her new nursery at home. I remember so clearly thinking: "Now what do I do?"
Well, my daughter turns 19 in two days. There were countless times since that first day she came home that I asked myself that same question: "Now what?..." But we must have done something right.
Cori is living on her own (and so far hasn't been arrested!!) After supporting her for a year, I am now teaching her to pay some of her own bills. Last week, we met and she said: "Okay, I have $200 to pay bills today." So she is learning the value of paying for your needs before paying for your wants.
She just completed 32 credit hours at OCC and is transferring to OU in the fall. She called me today and was very upset that she only has a B+ GPA, and she was asking if OU would still accept her. When she learned that not only would they accept her, but that her grades had earned her a scholarship, she didn't feel so bad.
Cori also got herself a puppy for her birthday. Before getting the puppy, she found out the costs for vaccinations and a spay, as well as other expenses for bringing home a new dog. I didn't even have to ask. By the time she called me to tell me her plans, she had thought it all through. She has had the puppy for a week now. Yesterday she called, asking for advice, when she realized that it can be hard to be totally responsible for another living being, even though it happens to be "cute and cuddly". She said she was tired and all she wanted to do was rest, so she put puppy on the bed where she can keep an eye on her. Now you and I both know what happened next. Puppy peed on the bed. So much for rest... I assured her that puppy was only doing what puppies can be expected to do... and that it would not last forever... and that she was "a good Mom".. and hang in there. (And okay, I was silently thinking Thank God it's only a puppy! If you have a daughter who is a young adult, I know you were thinking the same thing.)
So this Mother's Day, I'm realize: "She turned out alright." Not only is she a good kid, she is really a human being to be proud of, by anyone's standards. Now so you don't think she was just a privileged kid from the start, I can say "No, that is not the case" and leave it at that. Some days we wondered if either of us would come out alive.
So whether your kids are two, or twenty-two, or fourty-two; stand by them. When they get it wrong, gently tell them so. When they get it right, really tell them so. And when you know that they need to figure it out themselves, tell them nothing and let them figure it out themselves... so you don't have to come back later with the proverbial "I told you so..."
So, Happy Mother's Day. Be proud of the moments you get it right. Be gentle with the moments you get it wrong. I will all be worth while. I told you so...
And did you know that the Birmingham Mother's Center meets in our chapel, and that their focus is on supporting mothers of kids who are in college or who are heading off to college? If you want more information, call me.
In the Meantime Be Well, Rev. Sherry
Sometimes we make big decisions, and life changes. We decide to marry, or we decide to go off our birth control to "see what happens..."
Sometimes we make little decisions, and life changes. We decide to say what is really on our minds, and we don't even try to be nice about it; but we know we will be loved anyway. (Thanks, Tom, for being in my corner... even though I was not very reasonable at 9:00 last night.)
Sometimes other people make big decisions, and life changes. Your Grandma decides to move across county (with her boyfriend!) and although you are thrilled for her, you are sad for yourself because when she goes, "home" goes with her. (I hate to see you go, Grandma, but I'm glad to see you happy and loved.)
Sometimes other people make little decisions, and life changes. You say to someone that you saw a blouse in the Hospice Resale, and when you got home, you were sorry you didn't get it. Then, the same blouse shows up in your mail with a note that says: "I hope this was the one..." (Thanks, Sandra, Yes it was just right. I got it today.)
Life changes. It's a fact. And I think that all in all this is good. I guess for myself that if life didn't change; I would appreciate very little of the goodness I see every day, and I would surely be bored. But the cost of this is that some changes are easy and some changes are hard. Some changes bring joy almost instantly, and some changes take a while to become merely tolerable. I can live with that. And I can live with all of the ups and downs of that.
Tonight I don't have any advice. Only observations... as well as love, and a whole host of other emotions. I also have my husband dozing by my side, and two cats purring in my lap. Tomorrow morning, I'll wake up to feed the birds and start another day. So while some things change, other things stay the same, and this seems to balance things out a bit.This too is good.
But what if you are not in balance? Are things changing for you, too? How are you doing with that? Or are things constantly the same? How are you doing with that?
Whatever your circumstance, I wish you well...
Rev. Sherry
C is also for Confession... Which this sort of is...
Last week, I was sick.
I was also tired, angry, overwhelmed, and grieving.
So what did I do?
I took it out on my husband.
Oh, and then I balmed HIM like this was all HIS fault!
Shocking, right? YOU would never do this, right? Yeah, right... So I guess although many of you come to me for relationship advice, I still have a while before PBS will be calling me to join relationship gurus like Wayne Dyer on one of their fundraising specials...
But here is what I learned through this experince, and what I wish to share with you. Within about 14 hours; I realized that I had created this reality, not my husband. It did not take me 14 days, or weeks, or months, or years (like it used to.) I realized that I was "giving my husband grief" over grief that was actually my own.
Within 14 hours, I was also able to apologize. I was able to express some things that I found I was actually feeling scared about; and not angry about at all, even though I was acting like an angry person. Within 14 hours, I was able to lean on him for support instead of pushing him away and trying to deal with things on my own (which is VERY old and VERY familiar habit of mine.) Within 14 hours, I started to feel a little better.
What realities are you creating for yourself? Which of these realities are you creating over and over again, even though they may be worn and outdated? Even though they may have nothing to do with the present moment, person, or situation? What are you still blaming others for, when maybe the answers lie in taking a closer look at yourself?
It's hard for me sometimes. Maybe it's hard sometimes for you, too. If you find you need a hand to hold, you can hold mine. I may not have all of the answers, but at least we can muddle through it together.
Be Well,
Rev. Sherry
Brides.com ran an article last month about high-tech help for busy brides:
If you use a BlackBerry, try downloading My Wedding Companion.
Using an iPhone? Try their Wedding Bridal Binder.
Both of these applications manage schedules, budgets, etc.
Try it. Let me know how they work!
Do you have other Wedding Planning tools that work well for you?
Let us know about those too. We are always intersted in tips to make planning easier for our brides!
Be Well,
Rev. Sherry
Earlier this week, I was reading the book: "A World of Ways to Say I Do."
The first page of the book was titled Give Her a Smooch. Apparently, according to research conducted by a life insurance company, men who kiss their wives before they leave for work:
- live an average of five years longer
- are involved in fewer auto accidents
- are ill 50% less time
- earn 20-30% more money
Wow! Relationship building, improving your health, and financial planning all accomplished with one kiss each morning? That's my kind of way to start the day!
P.S. I begin all of my days this way... How about you?
Be Well,
Rev. Sherry
Beating Bridezilla! Support MeetingsRev. Sherry Mullins, a Certified Wedding Minister, Licensed Professional Counselor, and Owner of A Joyful Celebration! Weddings, is a new bride herself. She knows first hand, from personal and professional experience how stressful wedding planning can be. Wedding Planning can also can be fun and meaningful. If done right, the process of planning your wedding day can even enhance your relationships with your fiance and with others who are close to you such as parents and wedding attendants. Join us to have your planning questions answered, figure out how to save money, deal with family members who think you should do things their way, and take a little pressure off as you prepare for your big day. |
| Learn more and join this group at http://www.meetup.com/Beating-Bridezilla/. |
The other day I was talking with a bride about how much I love working with couples. Writing and officiating wedding ceremonies, and helping couples create marriages that actually work out. I can think of no higher calling for myself.
Then my bride said to me: "I want to love what I do, like you do." I was going to send some information to her. But then it occured to me that many of the couples I work with are trying to make career changes. Sometimes this is by choice. Often it is by force.
Several years ago, I was in the top 10% of the women's income bracket in the United States while working as a Management Consultant. This was back in the days when corporations still had money to pay for such things. Then one day I realized that I had missed my significant other's birthday because a flight out of Philly was cancelled, my five year old daughter wasn't getting the "mothering" she needed, and I hadn't slept in over a year due to stress. One day I walked away from it all. No benefits, no unemployment, no pay check. But I knew this was what I needed to do.
Now, I am not recommending you do something so severe as that. But what can you do when you desperately need a career change, but still need to pay the bills?
I have a recommendation for two resources to get you thinking in the right direction. One is a book written by a Career Coach that is called 107 Tips: Step Into the Right Career Path. At first glance, this book will appear to be very simple. Trust me. It's not. I have been working on these steps for the past year. I am not through. You can also find this author's website at www.thecareerchanger.com. You can register for free tips by email.
The second resource is another book called Should I Do What I Love? Or Do What I Do - So I Can Do What I Love on the Side? by Katy McColl. This book, like the first, views career transition as the life transition that it is.
So, check it out. If you find that weddings, and new marriages, and paying all the bills, and supporting the kids is all too much and you don't know what to do... Just stop for a minute. Take a breath. And give us a call. 248-430-4224
Be Well,
Rev. Sherry