I believe the process you and your fiance are taking to plan your wedding is every bit as important to creating your marriage as the actual wedding day.
As you plan your wedding, listen very carefully to the words that are being said between you.
We tend to explore not only what florist we want to use for the ceremony, but also things like: "Where do we want to live? How many children will we have? How will our lives be different after we're married? How will we change once we are living together?"
We begin making promises well before the wedding ever takes place. We make promises well before we take our vows. I encourage you to pay special attention. I would invite you to write these promises in your journal. They are important hints to how your marriage will unfold.
I will share with you the promise Tom and I made to one another. Honestly, I can no longer remember the exact words of the wedding vow I said on our wedding day. But I clearly remember the promise we made.
The promise was this: "We like each other. We love each other. We are compatible. If something 'breaks' down the road, let's just fix it."
This promise creates a marriage that says: "I am in this with you. You are in this with me. We will each do our part to make this marriage good and to make this marriage last."
So all of the wedding hoopla we had? That was a Joyful Celebration! And indeed it was! But the actual marriage happened the moment we made that promise.
What are you and your fiance promising to one another? What kind of marriage are you creating?